In Ketchikan, Alaska it rains a lot and I mean a lot. The main street of town in built on pilings right over the ocean. The storm drains drain right into the ocean and it still rains so hard they back up. When you are driving it is like trying to drive through a waterfall and sometimes traffic comes to a halt or hardly moves. The electricity on the island goes out if it doesn’t rain enough and it goes out if it rains too much. Most people set their house up with gas when they have lights all the time if necessary or buy lots of oil lamps and candles. This was one of those nights, rain coming down hard.
911, please state your emergency. This hysterical voice says “I have a prowler, please help me, I saw a shadow on the window too”
911: “what is your address?”
Caller: “I don’t know. I don’t know. I have no idea?”
911: “what street do you live on?”
Caller: “I don’t know, I am sorry but I really have no idea.”
911: “Do you live on the south end or the north end of the island”
Caller: Crying she said “I really don’t know, I came up from California with my fiancé to meet his parents. They won’t be here until tomorrow and he went to town to get groceries.”
911: “ok calm down we will figure this out” I tried to remember what I saw when I got off the ferry the first time that a tourist might notice. “did you see an arch over the highway that said “Alaska’s first city?”
Caller: “no, I don’t think so.”
911: “Did you see a bunch of airplanes sitting on the water?”
Caller: “yes, a whole bunch of them”
911: Most tourists notice the planes on the water instead of an airport runway. “ok, we are making progress” “Do you still hear the prowler?”
Caller: “yes he just knocked a garbage can over I think.”
911: “has he tried to get in at all?”
Caller: “no, he is just walking around outside like he is looking over the place deciding where to get in. I am hid”
911: “good you stay hid” “When you were driving out there did you notice any houses that looked like someone cut a can in half?”
Caller: “yes, oh yes, we turned to the left right there”
911: “ok, we know what road you are on, stay calm” I then dispatched the officer to that road on the north end of the island. “madam, can you describe the house at all, any feature that stand out or color or anything outside that you noticed or any cars in the driveway”
Caller: “A red pickup in the driveway, OMG, he just cut my electricity!” starting to cry really hard again.
911: “calm down, I just lost mine too, this is a common occurrence in Alaska, I am pretty sure your prowler is a black bear. They aren’t real dangerous as long as you stay in the house. He probably knocked the garbage can over on purpose looking for food and the officer is just a few minutes away now”
Caller: “I am starting to feel stupid, it probably isn’t a guy.”
911: “just stay on the phone until the officer checks to make sure, he is just pulling up now”
Caller: “I just heard a car and now I see a flashlight beam. Thank you for helping me I was so scared”
911: “no you stay right here on the phone with me until the officer has contact with you. Do not open the door until I tell you too for any reason”
Caller: “ok, my friends are not going to believe this when I get back to LA”
911: “good you will have some stories to tell and they will probably think you are making it up” I say kind of laughing. “The officer just ran a small black bear off and he is coming to your door. He will identify himself as Trooper *Smith. Ok I can hear him knocking on your door, lay the phone on the table and go make open the door”
Caller: “ok”, she lays the phone down and I can hear the officer identify himself and her open the door and them start talking. She comes back to the phone and says again “thanks, I really appreciate your help, I really feel stupid”
911: “don’t feel stupid, this is our job and only to glad to help. I am just glad it turned out to be a beat and not a person. You enjoy your stay in Alaska.”
Two days later a big bouquet of flowers arrived with a thank you note. A nice calls where someone actually appreciated your help. I could have done one of these a night. Makes you feel good and you love it when it turns out with no one hurt, just a little humor.
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