How did that get there?

Another favorite of mine in booking was a guy that came in for intoxicated driving. He smelled like a brewery and was totally wasted.  The officer brought him up to the booking counter.

I said “sir, would you empty your pockets for me?”

Drunk: “what did you call me?”

I said “sir”

Drunk “well young lady I will do anything you want, I have never been called sir before”

He at that time started taking things out of his pocket and putting them on the booking counter.  He reached into his right pocket and pulled out a small bag of marijuana and placed it on the counter. 

His eyes got real big, his mouth dropped open and he looked up at me in amazement. You could tell he was shocked completely and said “where did that come from?”

I said “you tell me.”

Drunk “I don’t know how it got there”

I said “you have a package of marijuana in your pocket and you don’t’ know where it came from?” I believed him because of the look on his face when he had placed it on the booking counter.

Drunk “oh no I know where it came from, I just don’t’ know how it got there but it is good shit.”

I said “So you don’t know how it got there but you know it is good shit.”

Drunk “really madam I don’t know how it got there, it is suppose to be under the seat.”

That was one of those weekends that I got off at midnight and had to be back in at 8 the next morning. We called them a roll back.  My first job was to get all of the drunks out of the drunk tank and either release them, let them bail out or put them in a regular cell. 

When I brought my marijuana guy out he looked at me and said “weren’t you the lady that booked me in last night?”

I said “yes I was.”

Drunk “Please tell me I didn’t do what I think I did”.

I said “what do you think you did?”

Drunk “I think I placed something on the counter I should not have had”

I said “yes you did sir”

Drunk “Did I tell you it was good shit?”

I said “yes you did sir”

Drunk “guess I kind of blew my defense on that one, huh?”

I said “yes you did sir”

Drunk “I still love it that you call me sir though” he says with a big smile